Dr. Koehl

Dear Dr. Koehl, I am suspicious

Or at least, I'm superstitious

Please don't think me vile or vicious

Though this question seems malicious.

But I must ask, where are you from?

From where or whence have you come?

Ambiguous answers, you've given some,

But of clear ones, you've remained dumb.

So here is my hypothesis vile,

That you have travelled many a mile

From outer space, you've come to beguile

We humans, and live on earth for a while.

For I've noticed, I confess,

For a professor you always dress

Far too well. So I guess,

You're too stylish too profess.

You seem so very out of place,

You must be from outer space.

Behind that unnaturally friendly face

Smiles one of an alien race.

No wonder you are so eloquent!

And your statements need no supplement!

For other humans' time is spent

Not knowing what the other meant.

And, well it seems to  me,

You're too clear about philosophy.

For teachers are supposed to be

More vague when they earn a Ph.D.

You're an alien, I can tell,

You acted just a bit too well.

"Your wether's bell rings doleful knell,"

No more in secret shall you dwell!

Tho' your guise was of no avail,

I commend your efforts, Koehl.

Indeed, you did too much travail

That your excellence made you fail.

Here's some advice, if you want to fool

The next set of freshmen who'll

Take your class in this school:

Be more boring and less cool.