Once upon a time I was a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Republican from a large farm in the suburbs. After graduating at the top of my class at the extremely reputable college of (obscure college that no one has ever heard of) I moved into the city to fulfill my lifelong desire of teaching underprivileged children. My first day of class the students were extremely rude but I saw through their rudeness to the wonderful children within and decided to become hip and cool so they would like me and begin to love reading more than video games and swearing. For the rest of the year I was in punching fights with unjust parents, principals, and gang members to protect my precious children who would laugh at every joke that I told them and respond to my nicknames that I had lovingly given them and cry when I talked about sensitive issues like coming from broken homes. Somewhere along the way I fell in love with a beautiful female White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Republican who also taught in the inner city school and we had a lot of fun picnics together while we saved the education and lives of many children under our care. Many years later I retired and every single student that I had taught for thirty years came and cried and applauded for me for many hours. There was a funny and emotional powerpoint and when I gave my speech everyone cried and the scene slowly faded into darkness like the end of all inspirational movies. The End.
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